it comes in doses

so i found out today that i didn't get my scholarship for this year, due to some unfortunate circumstances. now, my first thought after hearing this went something like...fuck motherfucker fuck fucking shit ass hell.

i'm a little more coherent now, a few hours later, and after applying to 16 jobs.

and i could easily sit here and mope about this, get unbelievably depressed and spout off some bullshit about bad karma and all that crap. but really, that's not going to fix a goddamn thing. so what do I do? work my ass off this year, get a goddamn job, function like a proper human being on a normal sleep schedule and not procrastinate. i realize that's a lot to accomplish considering it's me, lazy motherfucker, but new york is not something i want to fuck up. and i won't.

so here's to me being optimistic and managing my time well and getting a job and not being homeless.

optimism, yessir. absofuckinglutely.